I don’t know why my mind has been focused on relationships so much lately. Perhaps it’s because the holidays are coming up and all of the cute couply things are staring me in the face everywhere I go. Maybe it’s because every other post on my newsfeed is an engagement announcement, or, even scarier, a newborn baby picture. Maybe I’ve just eaten too much candy corn, and the sugar and artificial food dye is getting to my head…
Either way, love is on the brain, and I don’t see that going anywhere anytime soon. I’m going to dub this as the “cursed blessing”.
I recently went to a wedding this past Saturday for my friend Lindy. It was short, sweet, and unbelievably romantic. It was also one of the most fun and interesting nights I’ve had in awhile (hello, 5:30am bedtime). Back to the wedding… Two words came to my mind when I watched my friend marry the love of her life, and that was that the bride and groom were best friends. They were laughing and smiling from ear to ear and making eyes at one another like they were teens discovering love for the first time. It was sweet. Pure, simple and sweet.
I want that. I think everyone wants that. I’ve had it before, and it’s just as fantastic as it sounds. Magical, even. So, I guess you could say that I want that again. I’m ready for it again.
As much as commitment scares me (and I have my reasons why, and they’re legitimate), it’s kind of a necessary part of the whole growing up process. I sort of realized that at work this morning while talking to a friend of mine about relationships, soul mates, etc.
Why do people date? To get to know someone in hopes of sharing a future with them. Because, though solidarity is important, companionship is even more important.
Casual dating is different, and it’s a little more tricky. Casual dating can be fun! Go out with someone you typically wouldn’t, grab drinks and see where the night takes you. Why the hell not. You’re young, so be wild and free while you still can. But I feel like casual dating can only go so far before you’re in your car listening to that one song by Ingrid Michaelson and you’re thinking to yourself, “Ok, so what exactly is going on here?”
But who am I to talk about relationships? I really know nothing. I know that I’ve been in them before. I know that they’re a hell of a lot of work. I also know that they can be totally worth it and that I am open to discovering the possibility of a future with someone again. Even if it’s just a “hey, let’s hang out and drink some whiskey.” My response? “Hell yeah, because whiskey is good and so are you.”
If a casual… thing comes my way, and who’s to say it hasn’t, I’ll embrace it. For now. But if a more serious thing falls into my lap, I’ll also embrace it, because I’m over pushing away the potential for something good. I’m over calling myself cynical when it comes to love. I’m over the bullshit.
For all of my single ladies out there, go have yourselves a good time. Drink that whiskey, kiss that boy, but don’t forget your heart and what it’s truly longing for.
For all of my taken gals out there, make sure you listen to your heart too.
For all the dudes out there, listen up. I’m going to say this one time and one time only, so here it goes.
If you fancy a lady, tell her. Ask for her number, but don’t be creepy about it. Be smooth, be confident, and be charming, but not too charming, because she’ll think you’re up to something. When she gives you her number, feel free to text her, but don’t let that be your only means of communication. Do not, and I repeat, do not ask her out for the first date over text. Dial her number and give her a call so she can hear you asking to spend time with her. Don’t overthink the first date either. Dinner and drinks is perfectly fine. You pick the place, but ask what she likes. You pick up the tab and don’t even think twice about letting her cover any of it. Open the door for her. Open ALL of the doors for her. Compliment her, even if it’s something as simple as, “You look very beautiful tonight.” You can even use the word “pretty”, because I think that’s very boyish and sweet. “You look pretty.” She’ll blush and say thank you, and if she has a sense of humor, she’ll respond with something like, “Well, thanks! You don’t look half bad yourself.” If you’re lucky, she’ll call you a stud. Ask her about her life. What she aspires to be. Her likes. Dislikes. And listen. Look into her eyes. Notice their color. Trust me on this. Walk her to her car when the night is over, or bring her back home if you picked her up and walk her to her front door. Tell her that you “had a really great time tonight.” If you want to see her again, ask to see her again. Hug her. Kiss her on her cheek. And wish her a good night.
Love is cool. I look forward to finding it again.
Talk to y’all soon,
P.S. In case you’re wondering, this was my Ingrid song of choice:
On repeat forever and ever.