I am absolutely, 100%, unapologetically addicted to reading the Missed Connections section on Craigslist. I don’t know what’s weirder… the fact that there’s actually a section on Craigslist dedicated to uber shy people who have crushes on people they’re afraid of IRL or the fact that I’m secretly hoping to find one about me someday.
“To the brunette barista… I think you’re beautiful and would love to take you out sometime. I’m the dashing young lad with a full beard and also a trust fund. P.S. I wear cognac Oxfords.”
Life is a but a dream.
In all seriousness, I get really upset at the whole idea of anonymously writing out a pseudo love letter ON THE INTERNET for your secret love to stumble upon. Like, are you shitting me right now? What in the hell is so difficult about just talking to people? Why is that so hard? I’m genuinely asking. Why is it so hard to use words? Real words?
The Internet has made everyone scared shitless of everything since it came into existence. Google, I love you, but you keep me from reading encyclopedias. MapQuest, praise you for saving me when I was lost in the Quarter that one time, but shouldn’t I know how to use a compass and like, the sun’s rays to point me N/S/E/W? Craigslist, you ROCK if I’m looking for a free couch or a freeloader to spend my afternoon with, but you are NOT WHERE I SHOULD FIND A (potential) MAN-FRIEND OR WHERE I SHOULD CONFESS MY LOVE FOR HIM.
… talk to the girl you think is cute.
… smile at the boy you see every morning at your favorite coffee shop.
… buy someone a drink if you think they’re pretty.
Use your words. In real life, not in text.
There is something so unbelievably attractive about a person with confidence. If you have the confidence to make yourself vulnerable and ask someone out in person, you’ve basically already won. I am so sick of texting, Facebook messaging, and carrier pigeon. Pull a Jane Austen and write a damn letter if you’re that nervous in person.
I’m preaching to the choir here, because I also believe a woman can ask a guy out. A woman can give a guy her number first. A woman can buy a man a beer and say hello. Absolutely. And, yes, I realize I’m typing this, but believe you me, if I had access to a microphone and happened to be surrounded by a lot of people willing to listen to me rattle this info off in person, I would. I would also probably be accused of being the Anti-Christ because America is whack, but, hey, I’d go with it. Seems fun.
Don’t be afraid anymore. It’s one person out of many. There will be rejections, but there will also be wins. If you like someone, tell them. Ask them out on a date. Open doors. Flirt. Have a sense of humor. Whatever happened to courtship? Working for what you want? If you want her, GO GET HER. Ladies, if you want him, HAVE HIM. And if they’re in a relationship, at least have the decency to know your bounds.
Let’s channel our elders ways of wooing, shall we? Let’s use our voices to communicate and stop relying on technology to do it for us. That’s lame and so not cute.
So ask her on that date.
Give him your number.
Tell them your name and ask for theirs.
Start a conversation.
And always, always wear cognac Oxfords.
Talk to y’all soon (hopefully in person),