It’s 10pm on a Friday night, and I finally feel my hangover slipping away. Last night was one of my best friend’s birthdays, and we sang karaoke at this icky, but lovable, bar until 5am. I’m not sure how I survived the evening. All I know is I’m not missing any fingers or toes and I still have my dignity in tact. A win.
I attempted to get to bed early tonight, but, as usual, as soon as my eyes closed, my mind woke up. I seriously haven’t had a single thought all day (I blame last night’s vodka), so it was pretty surprising when, right as I attempted to fall asleep, I began to think about my future.
And Tina Fey.
Before you start thinking, “Dang, this girl’s obsessed,” just know that yes, I am. Obsessed sounds a little too negative for my taste (I’m working on my positivity), so let’s go with the word infatuated.
I am infatuated with Mrs. Tina Fey, and here’s why:
1) She’s hilarious.
2) She goes there.
3) She’s confident.
4) She’s a woman.
5) She embraces her whole self.
6) She wears many hats and rocks them all. Even fedoras, which are really hard to pull off.
7) She’s immensely talented.
8) She’s an inspiration.
There are more. I really like that she’s a brunette and seems like she’d be down for a breakfast of nothing but donuts on a Sunday morning and only suffer from minimal guilt afterwards, but not from eating the donuts, but for not ordering the strawberry glazed with rainbow sprinkles “for later.”
Also, I bet she can shop sales like nobody’s business.
If I had a chance to meet Tina Fey, not only would I faint and probably have to have an ambulance called for me, but I would pick her brain about everything.
Where did you begin? How did you know comedy was your calling? What was SNL really like? What’s your advice on how to become you, I mean, become successful like you?
Everything. I’d ask her everything.
And then we’d take a super awesome selfie together that would break Instagram.
I love acting. I do. I love acting so much, but, with acting comes a lot of waiting and patience, and that’s something that I struggle with. My mind is sharp. It’s always running. If I’m not snipping back with a witty comeback, I’m conjuring up my next Tweet or Facebook status. I know that sounds silly, but, if it makes people laugh, then it’s a success, regardless of the medium.
I don’t want to wait on a role to give me my “big break,” if I even have one of those. I want to give it to myself, because becoming known for being excellent at what you love to do is a gift, and knowing that I received that gift from myself is an even greater treasure.
I want to write books and blogs and skits and shorts and jokes, and I want to perform, and I want to meet people, and I want to change lives and inspire and bring light to people’s lives. I want to challenge my mind and my gift and my talent and morph it into what it’s always meant to be. I want to mold myself around and shape my life around my desire to entertain. I want my sarcasm/wit/occasional dick joke to be my life. My whole life. Does this make sense?
So I’m embarking on a new quest, the quest to become Tina Fey, or at least become like her.
A sturdy, resilient, independent, free-thinking, probably donut-loving, comedic genius of a woman.
That’s who I want to be.
… That’s who I am.
I want that, who I am, to be my life.
My whole life.
So if any of you b words have Tina’s number, email address, etc., I’m gonna need you to forward that info to me asap. I’ll buy you brunch. Bitches love brunch.
Talk to y’all soon,