I pitied myself yesterday. Hard. While I don’t typically do that, I have to say, in the moment, it felt nice, but it’s unnecessary.
I am very fortunate. I have a supportive, loving and encouraging family. I have friends who would die for me and I for them. I have a consistent job with consistent income. I have a vehicle to drive while I anxiously search for a new one of my own. I have opportunities to grow and thrive within my career field. I’m rehearsing for a show. I have legs that take me places and hands that create. I have a mind that wanders and a heart that feels, albeit a little too often and oftentimes about trivial matters, but a feeling heart nonetheless.
I am blessed.
And there’s no reason to complain.
As a 20-something-year-old female in this day and age, I am plagued with comparison. I am constantly comparing myself and where I am in my personal walk of life with other people’s progress, or lack thereof. It’s wrong, and I need to stop.
It’s always been a challenge for me to just be. To be happy and pleased with merely existing, even for just a day or, let’s be real, an hour. If I’m not constantly working on something, I’m going to fail at life. I’m going to suffer. I’m going to trail backward into this land of contentment. What I need to be focusing on is the present moment and what I’m doing now. Not about what tomorrow holds. Not about what I achieved yesterday. It’s about now. It’s about today.
And today will be a good day, because I say it will be a good day.
It’s 9:20am, and I’m sitting at a desk in a living room that is not my own, no matter how much I wish it was. I’m housesitting. It’s lovely, and it’s a much needed break from my typical routine. A blessing.
I’m surrounded by four of the sweetest and kindest pups I’ve met who love to snuggle and touch you with their paws just to let you know they’re around. A blessing.
At 11am, I have rehearsal for The NOLA Project’s “Robin Hood: Theif, Brigand,” of which I get to play Marian, in City Park’s beautiful Sculpture Garden with some of my dearest friends, old and new, and with the most talented group of artists I’ve known. A blessing.
After rehearsal, I get to see my mom, my forever best friend. My first friend. I get to hug her and make her laugh and slap her butt (because it’s what we do), and we get to spend the afternoon car shopping. I’m sure there will be moments of frustration, but amidst that frustration, there will be jokes, and I’m sure she’ll say something along the lines of, “Here’s your new car” while pointing to a yellow Hummer. And I will laugh. And she will laugh. A blessing.
If all goes as planned, my evening will be spent with my best girlfriends with a bottle (or two) of wine, a balcony, and appreciation. A blessing.
No matter how my work day goes, no matter what someone says to me at my gym, and no matter what outlandish scenario my mind creates that causes me to, momentarily, spin out of control, I know that I have these constants in my life, and I know that they’ll be my life’s blessings forever. It’s really important to remember that.
Make today a great day.
Talk to y’all soon,