My eyes have been filled with tears for the past ten minutes as I think back to my trip to New York City with my mom.
I can’t stop crying.
Do you ever have moments of gratitude? Just these little moments of feeling so loved and cared for that you don’t know how to handle yourself?
Maybe you feel this way when your friend calls you to say she misses you. Maybe you feel this way when your pup greets you at the door after a day of work. Maybe you feel this way when your Mom uses vacation days to travel to NYC with you in support of your dreams and spends two extra days stuck there because of a blizzard by the name of Jonas.
I feel so loved.
For those of you who know my story, you understand my relationship with my mom. She is my best friend who raised me to be strong, true, and proud. She taught me how to stand up for myself and stand firm in my beliefs. She taught me how to be a woman. A strong woman. The older I get, the more these lessons mean to me and the more I understand her parenting.
I always said that if there was an angel on earth, it would’ve been my Granny. Now that she’s passed, I know who she lent her wings to.
Moments when I find myself overcome with emotions are absolutely essential for me. As a person who is led by emotion, but rarely shows it, I crave these times where I feel like a real person. A person who feels. It’s nice.
This past weekend was wonderful. Though there were flight cancellations, multiple travel delays, lost phones, and high times of stress, we made it. Like always, my mom and I made it.
While walking through Central Park yesterday morning, amidst the white snow, I kept hearing my mom gasp and say, “It’s so beautiful. It’s so beautiful!”
I’m so happy she got to see it. Something that I was taking for granted was bringing her so much joy. She centers me. She reminds me to relax and breathe. I would totally be lost without her.
“We’re making memories, Kaitlyn.”
I hope I never forget how she said that or how she looked when she said it. She smiled at me and looked truly happy.
I love her.
I love her so much.
Mama, if you’re reading this, thank you for everything. For supporting me, loving me, and telling me my hair looked frizzy in the elevator. I needed to hear it. Thank you. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend a snow-covered, below freezing, bagel-eating weekend with anyone else but you.